waiting for liftoff

i'm on the rag. pretty much worst thing ever.

the only (ONLY) bright side of this month's period is that it is so much lighter when i haven't been eating. i have always had very regular periods, lasting exactly a week, like clockwork. i still have never skipped a period, and i have learned that my estrogen levels are incredibly susceptible to my friends. however, when i don't eat much, my period usually only lasts about 4 days. it's glorious. the give-and-take though is that my pms symptoms are much worse--cramps, backaches, constipation, and bloating.

i have felt like SHIT the past few days thanks to aunt flo.

i also haven't been able to keep a proper cap on my calories. i don't know how much i have been eating, though it has been mildly restrictive. when i am on my period, i can't tell what i really look like at all. my stomach gets big even if i don't eat, and my mood swings just kill any self-esteem i have.

so hopefully my period will wind down end of today/tomorrow, and i'll know what i look like again.

i ate breakfast today to hopefully get my bowels moving...sorry, it's gross, but not as gross as i feel right now. just a whole grain freezer waffle (100), tiny bit of brummel and brown spread (25), and smidge of strawberry jam (25).

i've brought food with me to work today to keep me out of the oatmeal, which isn't good or filling, and it's shit for you as well (esp the maple brown sugar, my poison of choice). i have some celery sticks with a little container of hummus and plain yogurt (250, high estimate), and an apple (80).

date #2 tonight with rugby boy. but i miss the english bloke. fudger. EB looked at flights to visit me over new year's when he found i wasn't coming, but it's ridiuclously expensive (nyc at new year's? um duh). so he's finding when he's got vacation in the spring time and i'm going out there. maybe i can convince him to come to paris with me--he's never been!

anyway. i might love EB. hmmm...uh-oh....oh well.

hope you all have good days. cross your fingers that i return to normal tomorrow!